Contact Attorney Richard Keyt: 480-664-7478|rk@keytlaw.com

Blimpie Sued for Not Having Double Meat in Its Sandwiches

Forget all the problems in the United States and the world, two crusaders who love to attack windmills are fighting our battles for us.  See the story in Above the Law.  The two plaintiffs sued Blimpie in a class action lawsuit for allegedly skimping on meat in Blimpie sandwiches.  The plaintiffs claim that a 12 inch sandwich contains 50 grams of protein, but the double your meat version of the sandwich contains only 73 grams of protein.  Holy false advertising Batman!  Here’s the part of the complaint that really ticks me off:

They also claim that other Super Stacked sandwiches should not be called that because there are no regular-size sandwiches to which to compare them.

Dude, doesn’t Blimpie have any shame?  Surely the Federal Trade Commission, the Food and Drug Administration or the Consumer Products Safety Commission will  assign 20 or 30 staff to investigate and spend millions of dollars of our tax money prosecuting this travesty of justice and force Blimpie to get its sandwich names in line with applicable federal and state law and nail Blimpie for a massive fine to teach it a lesson.  Where is the Food Police when you need them?  Whoops.  I forgot.  The Food Police are  busy busting bake sales in New York City Schools and going after dangerous hot dogs.

So Many Hitler Parody Videos – So Little Time

In 2004, director Oliver Hirschebiegl made a movie in German called “Downfall.”  A lengthy scene from this movie has been used over and over again by people who make subtitles that tell a story quite different than the actual words spoken in German by the actors.  Mr. Hirschbiegel loves that people are using his film to make parodies.  He says people constantly send him links to new parodies.  He has seen over 145 Hitler parodies.  His favorites are:

Hitler learns the Michael Jackson died

Hitler cannot get Billy Elliott tickets

Before you create your own Hitler parody, you should know that Constantin Film, the owner of Downfall, frequently demands that website remove the Hitler parodies because they infringe on its copyright.  See “Just how many Hitler videos does the world need?”  The New York Times story called “The Hitler Meme” looks at this topic from a different angle.  Here are some other Hitler parody videos.

Hitler responds to Apple’s new iPad

Hitler mistakenly makes a public post on his Facebook account that he meant to be private

Hitler learns that Jay Leno will replace Conan O’Brien on the Tonight Show

Hitler finds out Kanye West Disses Taylor Swift at the VMAs

U.S. Patent & Trademark Office Cannot Accept Up-side Down Faxes – No Joke

More from the we are doomed department.  The other day the Department of Justice placed an ad seeking 10 trial lawyers who are mentally retarded.  See “U.S. Department of Justice Seeks to Hire Mentally Retarded Trial Lawyers for Voting Division.”  Maybe the DOJ could loan one of its newly hired retarded trial lawyers to the United States Patent & Trademark Office to teach USPTO personnel how to turn an upside down piece of paper right side up.  The article below explains that the USPTO actually rejects faxes that are received upside down.

Question:  Once the fax is removed from the fax machine, how does the USPTO person know that the fax was upside down when received?  Answer:  The USPTO holds the document in front of his or her face and if the top is on the bottom then the fax must have come in upside down and must be rejected!

Possible Solution:  Turn the fax machine upside down as it is receiving the upside down fax then the fax will be received right side up.  I understand this solution was proposed by a USPTO clerk who unlike 99% of the staff had once worked in the private sector in a for profit business.  She had a vague memory of how the “little people outside government” dealt with upside down faxes.  Management rejected this solution because federal regulations required that they ask for a request for proposals after first funding a study by an outside consulting firm hired to investigate various environmentally safe solutions to the problem.  USPTO management realized that as a result of President Obama’s massive budget freeze, the USPTO did not have the funds to pay for the study, much less pay for all the new double-sided-automatic-page-reversing green (the fax paper is recycled from used tiolet paper) state-of-the-art ethanol-powered fax machines made in China ($126,000/unit when purchased in bulk and the government always purchases these hummers in bulk to get the savings for the taxpayers) and  the office space necessary to house the new machines.

bnet.com:  “I know, the headline seems like a joke. After all, what do you do if someone inadvertently fed a page upside down into the fax machine? You simply turn the page over or, if you get an electronic version, use the reader software to rotate it. Apparently this is not within the standard operating procedures of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. No, if your fax comes in upside down, they send you a message in return saying that they can’t accept it and to re-fax.  Here’s a copy of the letter that a source, who regularly deals with the USPTO, passed along to me:”

State of the Union Speech Pivots to Employment Reform

Scrappleface:  “With his health care agenda on the back burner in the wake of Republican Sen.-elect Scott Brown’s election in Massachusetts, President Obama plans to use Wednesday night’s State of the Union address to unveil sweeping employment-reform legislation that would provide a good job to every American regardless of his ability to work, and would prevent companies from declining to employ applicants who suffer pre-existing conditions like laziness, incompetence, or kleptomania.”

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